By Jon Hietbrink
As A.P.E. leaders, a key part of our gifting is the ability to see things shift and be catalysts for change. By God’s grace, we’ve been equipped with the capacity to imagine new possibilities and lead others into new realities, BUT it’s critically important that we take stock of what’s fueling the change we bring.
I was sitting in a room full of incredible leaders from around the country and to say that I felt a bit out of place is an understatement. Not only was I one of the youngest people in the room, I was also filled with a desire to see our movement shift, grow, and change, and to be frank, some of the folks around me felt like barriers to be overcome. We were studying Paul’s letter to the Galatians, and through our discussion, I was captured by how Paul contrasts the fruit of the Spirit (“love, joy, peace…”) with the works of the flesh: “hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy.”[1] After our study ended, I was praying, and I felt the word of God drop like a hammer in my soul. Here’s what he said: “Let not angst be the engine for change, but rather love.” In a moment, I was both convicted and inspired.
As an apostolic leader, I can at times find within myself an almost insatiable desire for progress, for growth, for change, and often this desire is good. But what God graciously exposed in that moment was that if I’m honest, often the source of this desire for change is arising from angst instead of love, and here’s the critical difference:
Angst temps us to say things that create controversy.
Love invites to embody things that create change.
If we are to steward our God-given gifts as catalysts for change (particularly as we’re trying to influence “up” or laterally in our movements), I’m absolutely convinced this is a critical check for A.P.E. leaders to hear— we must reject the temptation of angst-ridden critique, and instead choose the change that is birthed in love.
Toward that end, here’s a few things I’m learning about how to be a change leader that is fueled by love instead of angst.
- Embody the Change — It’s an oft-overused adage, but its truth remains: “we must BE the change we want to SEE in the world”. Anyone can attack—especially when every movement, institution, and organization on earth is full of flaws; it’s easy to be a critic. What our communities need is not another voice complaining about everything that’s wrong, but a model of how to do it differently. As Alan Hirsch has said repeatedly, “the best critique of the bad is the practice of the better”, and this is absolutely true if we want to be effective as loving change agents.
- Prioritize God’s Activity — Put simply, we don’t drive change, God does, and any change effort that isn’t rooted first in God’s activity is destined to fail. As such, it’s critical that we fix our gaze on God’s prerogative, God’s activity, God’s movement. As an often impatient A.P.E. change agent, a critical discipline has been zooming out to remind myself that God is the one who creates lasting change. At our best, we’re simply joining in with something he is doing, and this perspective releases us to maintain patient hope that change is coming.
- Assume the Best — In any movement, there are voices who are (often rightly!) more resistant to change—those who’s primary value isn’t the new and the novel, but the tested and the enduring. It’s so easy to conceive of these folks as enemies to our change vision, but we must fight this temptation to vilify and instead choose to assume the best about these partners and their desire for God (even if it expresses itself differently than we might like). Change comes through meaningful engagement, not polarizing silos, so we must pay attention to “win/win” opportunities that advance the kingdom.
- Find (and treasure) “YES!” pockets — Most of us (A.P.E. or not!) operate in systems that feel like they don’t quite fit. We experience conflicted values, resistance to change, and sometimes outright hostility. In that kind of reality, almost nothing has been more helpful for me than finding pockets of like-minded folks where the first response is “yes—let’s do it!” When we are pursuing macro-organizational change, these micro-networks of friends and colleagues are not only critical to maintain our sanity, but they often are used by God to become pivot-points for substantial change. As we play the long-game of loving change, we must also find and treasure these precious pockets that normalize the radical and where our minds and hearts can experience the freedom of blessing, permission, and encouragement.
As A.P.E. leaders, it’s easy to get caught up in being known for a variety of things: courage, risk, innovation, fruitfulness, gifting, zeal, etc., and while these things are good, is it not most like Jesus to be marked FIRST by love? To be known not merely for our vision or skills, but first for our sincere LOVE for God, God’s people, and God’s purposes in the earth? Jesus, may it be so of us as A.P.E. change agents
Which of the 4 things I am learning connect with you as a leader?
[1] Galatians 5:20b
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Thanks so much for this post. I do appreciate this blog and the discussions it surfaces. I don’t consider myself as having an evangelistic, apostolic, or prophetic gifting, but I love the themes and the way it challenges me!
But when I read this post I felt compelled to speak into this angst and love dichotomy talked about here. I’ve been studying and reading about the prophets lately and how the prophets voice is often full of angst and is a “strain on the emotions” to those listening as Abraham Heschel says in his book, “The Prophets”. It seems that the prophet’s voice and words often come across as jolting and harsh, but in the heart of the prophet is a vested interest in the restoring of the world to God as it should be.
I also read a quote the other day by Robert Frost about how “a prophet’s quarrel with the world is deep down a lover’s quarrel”. So despite how angst a voice may sound, its roots my be found in a heart of overwhelming love. So my question is, is there space in the body of Christ for the angst filled voice that deeply loves God’s people? Or are those voices quickly silenced because their written off as unloving and overly angry?
The other piece that brought up some questions for me was related to “being the change you want to see in the world”. I totally agree with that statement, but I don’t think I agree that criticism is then unnecessary. Both seem needed when we’re talking about systemic injustices and change, don’t you think? Without a sense of grief over how things aren’t as they should be, the newness and change that a person brings won’t be wanted or entered into or embraced. It takes both the criticism and the newness, yes? Just from what I’ve been reading and how it lines up with my experience, both criticism and embodying newness seem crucial to change and an alternative future.
Anyway, just a few thoughts I had after reading this post. Would love to know what you and others think as well.
Kristy-
Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment on this post. I resonate with the tensions you are raising, as often what emerges from a heart of love can often still sound like “angst” to those who hear it.
Obviously, plenty that could be said, but wanted to share a couple additional comments–I’d welcome further engagement on this if it’d be helpful!
On a practical level, where the “love not angst” thing has been most helpful for me is as a tool for SELF reflection as I’m trying to bring change, rather than a barometer of how OTHERS hear/respond to what I’m saying. To be sure, prophetic voices (even when they come from a place of love for God and others) are often quickly silenced, and to an extent, I’m not sure whether there’s much to be done about this–it is in many ways out of our hands how folks respond to us. What we CAN control is being diligent to check our own motives, and doing whatever possible to let love, not angst drive what we say and how we engage. Almost no passage has been more helpful for me in this self-reflection as a “litmus test” of sorts than the Galatians 4-5 passage I mentioned above, and I’d love to hear what you or others have found to be helpful indicators of when this internal posture is switching from a place of love to angst.
As to your second question about embodiment/critique, I definitely agree that there’s a needed balance between meaningful critique and the “practice of the better”–we must not merely model, but also speak, correct, etc. That said, the heart of what I’m learning is that unless I’m embodying the change, my critique is hollow and lacks authority. At least in my experience, it’s far easier to point out problems than it is to live the answer, so I need to be extra vigilant to “practice the better” as a way to bring greater integrity/authority to my critique.
Hope those thoughts are helpful, again, I’d welcome further engagement from you and/or others!
Grace and peace,
Jon
Jon,
Yes, thanks so much for engaging my thoughts and responding! Yes, I agree Galatians is a good litmus test for checking our own motivations as followers of Christ, knowing we’re called to love God and others. I would say that’s true for me.
I actually once read this whole long series of posts titled “prophets and posers” on a leadership blog where it addressed how often people with poor motives can run with the title of “prophet” just to get away with being angry and cynical. I definitely wouldn’t advocate anyone doing that! But as I’ve mentored and journeyed with my friends that tend to function prophetically, it often seems to come at a great cost to them to live out their gifting. Like you said, people with these kinds of giftings can often feel like they don’t quite fit where they are, and I would say that might be especially true for the P’s in the APE gifting set. So maybe I just wish people more often “assumed the best” about their motivations too :). But in the end, you’re right that a person doesn’t always have control over how others perceive him or her despite the best of intentions or motivations.
And yes, I get the heart of what you’re expressing about giving your words more integrity by embodying the change you’re desiring or calling for. I do think there is a needed balance of critique/embodiment of newness, but I still am not sure they need to both come from the same person. I think the church needs both voices and needs to receive both, but in my experience one person doesn’t usually embody both. Like Alexia Salvatierra said in her post on this blog, in her experience of mentoring people with prophetic giftings, she found some to be prophetic provocateurs and others to be prophetic organizers. What I appreciated about her words was that she didn’t require one person to both, but only stated that both kinds of prophets needed one another and that the church needed them both too. I think that’s a good word for the larger body of Christ to note and then to ask ourselves if we allow space for both prophetic types of people to exist independently yet interdependently as a part of us. Does that make sense?
Again, thanks for your response and engagement as I process some of this out!
Hey Kristy-
Thanks for your reply, I too found Alexia’s thoughts on the provocateurs and organizers to be an interesting and helpful distinction, and it does seem like those two prophetic expressions might navigate the love/angst tension differently, and does feel like the mercy of God to allow the wider body as a whole to balance the equation vs. each of us having to do everything. Thanks again for reading/engaging!
Jon
I sure resonate with all that you both are sharing. I do confess I’ve felt the tension that you speak of in my own heart (angst) towards established leadership when I see a grander vision, or somewhere where I see God working and no one is responding; Or I see or have a desire to go do ministry somewhere that is outside the boundaries of my job description. I often think, I just need to be free! Free to go and respond to Spirit led work wherever it may be, to explore, to be available to the Lord without the weight of administrative or managing responsibilities. But is that possible or realistic?
It seems to me that para-church attracts us apostle, prophet, evangelist types. And local churches focus on the Pastor/Teacher as primary. Ephesians 4 has been a revelation to me, since I have been within church communities that believe that my gifts don’t even exist anymore. This site has been a great encouragement for me to live out my gifts to build up the body… in love. My latest thoughts have been to help the local church and my chapter plant begin to find that place of partnership (5 fold ministry), where we each use the gifts God has given to build up the body, not just try to build our own kingdom and compete with each other.
I am thankful for this blog! 🙂
Todd-thanks so much for your comment, we are really glad the blog has been a blessing for you in your journey of engaging the 5-fold–praise God!
I think your question about the tension between freedom and responsibility being possible/realistic is a great one–from my experience we are almost always operating somewhere in the middle–never purely free, and usually having to balance organizational expectations, etc., and almost nothing has helped me more with this than finding those “yes pockets” where permission to dream is freely given.
Just this morning, I had a really encouraging conversation with one of these types of folks in my life–it’s been so helpful to have even a small group of friends where we’ve been able to experience a common thread of DNA (for this particular group, it’s an A gifting), while also enjoying the beauty of the wider APEST vibe (each of us brings a different secondary gift to the relationship)–may Jesus continue to lead you into those kinds of cross-pollinating relationships as you lead forward!