This is a guest post by Laura Hairston. Laura is a wife, mom & practitioner. She serves on the National Leadership team for Forge America Mission Training Network and is co-founder of Waken Ministries,  both organizations helping with missionary formation & discipleship. Connect with her on  Twitter | Facebook

Flower arrangements. The smell of homemade bread. Martha Stewart. This is what used to come to mind when I heard the word “hospitality.”  If you know me at all, even the mention of ‘homemade’ or ‘Martha Stewart’ would have kicked me out of the running already.

Or, if you’ve grown up attending church or attend currently, you probably had a Hospitality Team or may even serve in that role now.  These individuals typically manage the coffee table, greet you with a smile, and were probably placed there because it was in the top 3 of their Gift Assessment. Turns out the church has a very SMALL view of hospitality and so did myself.

A Different Idea

Given these two scenarios, I’ve gone through life thinking I did not have to be hospitable because if you ate my pie, you may die, and my ‘gift assessment’ never came out as being high in hospitality (or mercy either, but that’s a blog for another time). But, I was really good at bringing the soft drinks or store bought cookies to the parties of those who did.

As I’ve been contemplating this, I asked for help on Facebook with the question, “What comes to mind when you hear the word, ‘hospitality’?” I received a range of answers: smiles, genuine kindness, open homes, eye contact, safe place, and the list goes on. But, I think my favorite response, the one, which resonated with me the most, was from my 77 year-old MeeMaw which said, “God’s gift to others in the form of being generous and full of grace.”  I also recognized that no one put any of the above scenarios I mentioned, so maybe all my assumptions were a little bit off.

I love what the Message version of Matthew 5:16 says:

“Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”

So, as we open up with others, as we are genuine in sharing our lives and allowing them to share theirs as well, we are being hospitable.

This can take shape in many different facets too. It is definitely shown by opening up our homes, providing a safe, comfortable place for people. But it goes further than that to me—It’s being a genuine, generous, and gracious person just as my MeeMaw mentioned. It is allowing individuals to be themselves, comfortable and not forcing them to become something they are not or what we want them to be.  To do that we have to open up to others as well by being vulnerable, genuine and real. Everyone is on a journey, God is working whether we realize it or not, so trust him with the process.

My Real Beef

So, here’s my real beef with all of this:  Most of the people who are not yet Christ followers show more hospitality than those who are already Christ followers. I’m not sure if the reason is because we as Christ followers are trying to hide behind a facade of ‘having it all together’ or if because we just don’t have the time, but, come on! If we are to be like Jesus, then let’s be like Jesus! He invited people to walk alongside him, he welcomed them into his home, he really listened, and he invited the poor, blind & lame or as The Message interprets, ‘the misfits’ to dinner (Luke 14) and never asked for anything in return. Don’t just say, “Well, I don’t have that gift!”  That’s crap!

A friend posted this quote to his blog and it sums up hospitality rather well:

“Hospitality means inviting the stranger into our private space, whether that be the space of our own home or the space of our personal awareness and concern. And when we do so, some important transformations occur. Our private space is suddenly enlarged; no longer tight and cramped and restricted, but open and expansive and free.” — Parker Palmer

So these days, our family has a very open-door policy. We love hosting parties, I lead a neighborhood group for teenage girls every Wednesday evening in our home, and in the Fall we will be hosting a high school foreign exchange student from Germany for the full school year.  We enjoy hearing laughter, friends sharing life, and building relationships; we want to be generous with what God has given us. I love what Mother Teresa says, “Let no one come to you without leaving happier.” This is genuine hospitality to me whether in my home or somewhere else.

It’s time that we call our people–and ourselves–to a true hospitality rather than a token hospitality. So, I would ask, “How are you showing hospitality daily to others?” and “Are you opening up your heart and your home on a regular basis to those to who are not yet Christ followers or even those we may see as ‘misfits’?”

When you do this and the Lord opens your eyes and hearts to those around you, hospitality will flow out of you. No matter what your gifts assessment says.

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