Take The Training Wheels Off!

By Jon Hietbrink

In my last post, I shared about how we, as aspiring movement leaders, must seek to lead our ministries on, but not over, the “edge of chaos” and almost nothing highlights this tension more acutely than how we handle the people we lead. True movement is impossible without all-play empowerment, and this kind of mobilization hinges on our willingness to both trust and entrust those we lead.

Learning to Ride a Bike

Earlier this summer, we decided it was time for my son to learn to ride his bike without training wheels. He was skeptical, and I had no idea how I was going to teach him, but we headed out to our street and started experimenting. I did the typical dad thing of holding the seat and running behind him to help him perfect his balance, but we couldn’t seem to get it right–as soon as I’d take my hand off, he’d fall over.

But then something changed.

Instead of trying to establish a perfect sense of equilibrium for him, I started trusting his sense of balance and letting him feel the wobbly uncertainty of riding a bike without training wheels. It was magical–as soon as I stopped trying to perfect his balance for him and instead let him teeter on the verge of falling, his innate sense of balance took over, and he almost instantly started riding unimpeded down the road!

Empowering people for movement is a lot like that–inviting our people to follow us to the edge of chaos where something “magical” happens and we watch them emerge into a whole new expression of themselves.

Almost nothing causes me more stress as a non-profit leader than the seemingly endless task of resourcing our work. Like many things, it’s challenging to do something yourself, but it can be excruciating to watch others you care about go through the same experiences of disappointment, rejection, and hopelessness you’ve had to face.

$18,000

I had one of those moments in mid-June as I talked with two of our bright, young, staff. They had both given up their lifelong dreams to attend med school to serve students with InterVarsity and were leading one of the most vibrant and fruitful chapters in our region–everything looked great! BUT their financial situation was growing increasingly untenable, so we made the difficult decision that if they didn’t raise $18,000 of new funding over the next two months, I would make them get part-time jobs–a move that was sure to compromise their ability to be available for the work they loved on campus. It was a “taking the training wheels off” moment.

I remember mowing my yard after I had told them goodbye–my mind alternating between trying to generate any possible new leads for them, and uttering prayers of desperation on their behalf. To be honest, the prospect of them raising that kind of money in that brief a window felt far-fetched and borderline impossible–on the outside, we were choosing faith, but deep down, I think each of us was fearful of what might (not) happen.

Now, just a few months and over $18,000 of new funds raised later, we’re rejoicing at the incredible provision of God on their behalf–our faith has been bolstered, and they’ve learned how to ride a bike without training wheels!

Walking with these two friends through this situation has taught me some profound lessons about trusting and entrusting our people.

Trusting our people is taking them seriously as called, gifted, and capable disciples of Jesus.
Entrusting our people is exercising the faith to believe (really) that they belong to God, not us.
Trusting our people is recognizing that they don’t need us to provide for their every need.
Entrusting our people is believing (really) that God will be sufficient for them–he will provide.

Yes, my son needed me to be present with him as he learned to ride without training wheels, but what was so striking to me that day was the way in which my desire to create an environment of perfect equilibrium was actually compromising his ability to learn how to ride on his own. What he needed more than anything (though he didn’t know it at the time!) was for me to trust him enough to let go.

The Same is True for Us

The same thing is true of those we lead. To be sure, there are times when we need to walk closely with them through difficult seasons, exercising more directive styles of leadership. But too often this good desire morphs into an unhelpful compulsion to deliver our people from tension, difficulty, and strain, and in so doing, we are actually hindering their ability to learn, grow, and experience breakthrough. At it’s heart, this compulsion is almost always a lack of faith on our part–a lack of faith in the resilience and capacity of those we lead to handle difficulty, and a lack of faith that God really will direct, guide, and deliver them.

Instead of operating in this compulsion to ensure equilibrium, perhaps it’s time for us to take the training wheels off, let them feel the very real dangers around them, and cheer them on as they learn to ride their bikes and gain a new sense of independence as they learn to trust themselves and the God who will guide them!