[This is part of the A.P.E. Pitfalls series. Check out the other posts here.]

Athletes, who work out and lift hard, always take rest seriously.

Why?

Because any serious athlete will tell you that it is actually the rest days that help the muscles grow more. Lifting weights helps of course, but the days off when you are sleeping, eating right, and resting the muscles is what gives space for the muscles and body to grow.

WOW!

As an athlete (yes golf is a sport and I did play it in college) this analogy spoke to me.

How am I as a Christian minister and child of God taking regular rest days to let my spiritual muscles grow?

This started to bother me.

I wasn’t taking a Sabbath, I didn’t know what silence was, and I thought resting was for weenies who didn’t know what to do with their time.

I am a high-energy guy to say the least. If you don’t believe me, just ask a few of my friends!

• I am an ENTJ on the Myers Briggs
  • 100% extrovert
  • I love people and being around them
  • I hate sitting around and always want to be doing something
  • I am highly motivated and self-initiating.
  • I have super high energy and am really competitive.

These are great qualities, but if you are anything like me it is really hard to STOP!

Slowing down is one of the most difficult things in my life. Even if I slow my body down and take a day off, my mind still races on dreaming, planning and scheming for what is next. I am a fierce ball of energy.

But for a long time I didn’t think it was even a problem not to stop.

What is the big deal? I am motivated, ambitious and God made me this way for His kingdom.

It even made it worse when less ambitious or self-proclaimed introverts would bring this to my attention. It was infuriating, and I would often say to my self, and sometimes to them,

“Dude, I am not like you. I am driven and extroverted! If it makes you tired, it doesn’t mean it does the same for me! I am fine.”

Lets get on with it.

But thankfully over the years I have had some patient friends and mentors, and some other type A and highly extroverted people lend a word or too to me as well. My heart has softened as well.

Apostolic leaders who are not rested are DANGEROUS!

Why I decided rest is good

Over the last 7 years, I have been taking spiritual formation and rest seriously and here is why.

1. Burnout
   1. I have watched and read about way too many people with similar type-A personalities burnout.
      1. It is a marathon, not a sprint is what one of my mentors says all the time to me. I like that. I want to be around when I am 50-80yrs.
   2. I have a family now. I know I can burn my family out and not even know it. I don’t want to be the guy who has a great ministry but a crappy family. Trust me, there are many of those guys. I am committed to not being one!
2. Lies
   1. I have come to realize that when I am not stopping to reflect, I tend to believe that I can do it. I have come to see that the weeks and seasons that I don’t take serious time for reflection and rest, I really start believing that it is up to me and I can do it. My strength is enough. The result is fear, pride and anxiety.
   2. The lie I have struggled with the most is this: I am what I do. I really struggle with seeing my worth outside of what I accomplish.
3. Energy
   1. I have recently started meeting with a spiritual director once a month, and he really helped me see how energy affects people.
      1. Energy is not partial to positive or negative things, so how I manage my energy is extremely important to my health
         1. For example, sexual energy is great and strong. If I am not slowing down, resting, and gauging where I am with this, it can flow completely out of control and to negative things.
            1. Just a simple day off helps me notice how strong this energy can be in me. If I am not slowing down, it just rages on and will spill over sometime.
               1. I believe this is a major reason so many type-A people have moral failures. They simply don’t have awareness of their energy and it spills over into a negative area when tired.

Here is what I do

There is a difference between spiritual disciplines of engagement & disengagement. engagement disciplines are the common ones (bible study, prayer, community, etc) disengagement are ones that pull you away (fasting, silence and solitude, journaling, etc).

Since I am so extroverted and a high engaging person, I work hard to put disciplines of “disengagement” into my schedule so I can be more whole.

Steve Stuckey, my spiritual director, has helped me a ton and this is a quote from his website.

Evelyn Underhill writes, “The very first requisite for a minister of religion is that his own inner life should be maintained in a healthy state; his own contact with God be steady and true.”

Here are some helpful practices that have helped me work really hard and rest really hard. (plus a few links to Steve’s website)

Weekly

• I do my best to get two days off a week
  • One for Sabbath
  • One for chores, and life stuff
    • This means if I work through the weekend for a conference, I will take Monday and Tuesday off.
      • when I take my month reflection days, I look ahead and I put those days off in the schedule so I don’t schedule meetings.
• 2-3 hour chunk of prayer and reflection to hear from God for the week
• I try to keep my work week between 40-50 hours. It takes alot of work to do this!!

Monthly

• Meet with a spiritual director
• Take a whole day of reflection and prayer
  • to hear from God about my soul, and the ministry
• I have not been consistent with this, but I want to add fasting.

Quarterly/Semester

• 2-3 days of reflection
  • When I was in San Diego, the IV staff would take 48 hours three times a year to go do a spiritual formation retreat. 18 of those hours were “silent”. I loved it and it helped me remember “I am not what I do”.
  • Review my “Healthy Holy Habits” that I want to commit to
• Take a vacation or 3 days off in a row at least.

Yearly

• I don’t have a great yearly “thing”
  • Someone suggest one for me!

What are you doing to rest and how does it help you stay healthy?