By Steve Stuckey

Steve is a spiritual director with InterVarsity in Southern California. He writes here on this blog to foster spiritual formation for us catalytic leaders. Our hope is to create some space online to not only stir you up to be an APE leader but also help you connect with God well in your soul. He has developed many APE leaders and knows what our strengths as well as struggles are.

[This post is part of a series called Rooted. Find the other posts here]

I remember as a child watching the program Queen for a Day during the 1950’s. Each week a flabbergasted American housewife was crowned with a diamond tiara, wrapped in a velvet robe, and showered with lots of large appliances. (It was years later before I realized that the Kings of Everyday were the guys giving away the appliances.) What I found attractive about the idea of royalty was neither the loot nor the attention, but the power to decide one’s destiny.

In my work with InterVarsity staff, the topic of destiny comes up frequently. Most of the people that I work with are in the beginning stages of early adulthood. They are trying to figure out who they are and what they want to become. Some are trying to sort through the troubled baggage of their adolescence as they embark on their journey of life. They have been told from day one that the goal of life is happiness and they can be anything they want to be. Reality, however, tells them something different, which is why they knock on my door. Many people initially come to me in the midst of a calamity—their close friendship broke down, they face a health crisis, or their vocational path is blocked. Suddenly, rather than feel like a powerful queen or king, they feel like a pawn on someone else’s chess board.

I have discovered that it is precisely at those moments of powerlessness that the doorway to greater spiritual depth is opened. Michael Casey put it this way:

In times of prosperity, spirituality stagnates. It is only in the context of the harrowing experiences of deconstruction that forward movement is initiated…We do not find God when the going is good. The sense of well-being that is generated by positive experience makes us somewhat self-sufficient. At least it tends to limit our horizons to the range of possibilities available to us in the present world. We become insensitive to other-worldly realities. We forget God.

When my young friends share with me their feelings and experiences, I quietly listen and pray. Eventually I might ask, “Has any spiritual benefit come to you during this season of suffering?” Almost all discover themselves praying more. Others share that their distress forced them to slow down. As a result, their appreciation for little things—sunsets, a kind word, a good meal—increased. Some even make the observation previously made by the astronomer Copernicus five hundred years ago. The universe does not revolve around us. This is our Father’s world and all created things exist for His glory, not ours. We have crowns waiting for us in heaven; meanwhile, planet earth is our gymnasium, not our home. This is a place of transformation, service, and growing in love for our God and his people.

Last month two people that I met with over the course of the year told me, “This was the hardest year of my life. It was also the best year of my life.” They both exchanged their queen-for-a-day-crowns-of-comfort for something less soothing but they were also showered with hope, a deeper experience of God, and a more realistic perspective on themselves. We all agreed that it was a good trade off.

How have you found a season of struggle more helpful to you than a season of thriving? Please share in the comments

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